


Love Me (Like You'll Loose Me)

by speakingofalice



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Dates, Drunkenness, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 03:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5442398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speakingofalice/pseuds/speakingofalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim didn’t know why he felt the tiniest bit of hurt when Leonard just introduced him as Jim and not 'my best friend' or even 'my date' but again he stayed quiet letting the older man chatter with his friends. None of them really acknowledged him even at Leonard’s introduction. It was as if he didn’t exist.</p><p>Based on the prompt, “We ran into a bunch of your friends who couldn’t take a hint and now there’s a half dozen people who I don’t know and I’m just going to go home now…”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me (Like You'll Loose Me)

Jim smiled down at his plate of half eaten salad feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach. The man across from him was finishing laughing from a stupid joke Jim had just told him and was now rubbing his lips attempting to stop his booming chuckles from causing the other patrons in the restaurant to look over in their direction. Their meal was nowhere near over but Jim put his fork down wanting to draw out the date as long as possible, he hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time.

“Would you like more to drink, sir?” A server dressed in a casual white shirt and black pants asked with a smile directed entirely at Jim. The woman had been aiming wide grins and bedroom eyes at the blonde for most of the night, not that Jim had noticed. Jim didn’t look away from the man in front of him but Leonard certainly looked up.

“We’re fine.” He was all polite manners but as he spoke he brought a hand up placing it on Jim’s left wrist across the table. His hand was placed causally but possessively on Jim’s and the server gaped running her eyes from the hand to Leonard and back to Jim.

“R-right.” The woman then turned, a sour look on her face. Jim flicked his eyes down at their connected hands fighting his beating heart not to just pop out of his chest. God, when did he become such a blushing little bastard. 

“So, Dr. McCoy,” Jim started leaning back in his chair trying to cover the red tint that flushed his cheeks a rosy red. “Why did you finally agree to go out with me?”

It was the question he had been dying to ask since the older man had agreed to go to dinner three days ago. Sure, he’d known the good almost-doctor since the start of term last fall when they were both transfer juniors to the University of Mississippi. By chance they’d been roomed together in the apartment dorms just off campus. It was just the two of them in a small issued apartment with two beds in one room, a tiny kitchen, a living room with a hard couch and a bathroom that had a little-bitty shower. That’s it. That was where they were meant to share their space. They made it work learning about each other and staying out of the others way until the night Jim had called Leonard at near three in the morning.

“I thin’ ’m drunk'n I don’ know where I am,” he slurred through his cell phone yelling over the sound of the music. Leonard said something back in a surprisingly alert voice but Jim hadn’t been able to discern it. He yelled in his phone, head fuzzy and lips numb from alcohol. “Hold on! I’m goin’ outside!”

He’d left whatever club he was at and started to walk –  _stumble_  – down the street not really being able to feel his feet.

“Where are you, Jim?” Leonard’s voice rang through his phone when he brought it close to his ear.

“I just told ya I don' know! I’m, uh, I am…” He twirled around on the sidewalk looking for a street sign before stopping, head spinning hard. The world was tilted on its axis. “Wow, I don’t feel real good. I’m walkin’ now. Down a s-street. I think we were here once for dinner, yeah we were! Fuck, Len-Len we went to this grocery store for food one time ‘member? That was fun but no nuts. No nuts please I don’ like nuts… Well I mean I  _do_  but not  _those_  kinda nuts ‘cause I’m ‘llergic-”

“Jim!” A loud voice sounded in his ear startling Jim. Was he on the phone? “Stay where you are. Sit down.” Angry Voice ordered. Jim sat not knowing what else to do. That voice sounded so authoritative he had no choice but to do what it said. “Are you sitting?”

“Yessir.” Jim slurred back.

“Good. I’m on my way, kid. Don’t move.”

And Jim didn’t.

It took eight minutes for Leonard to pull up in his tan Ford Taurus. He had gotten out of the car with it idling on the deserted street. Jim had his hands in his hair with elbows on his knees. He’d calmed down to the point of the nice buzz giving away to a sickening swirl in his head. With his eyes closed he felt like he was spinning around and around. H felt sick.

“I’m drunk,” he informed his roommate.

“You don’t say?” Leonard reached down helping him to his feet patiently.

“Wha are you doin’ awake, Len? Leo? Leonardo..?” He tried the various versions of the man’s name with nothing sounding quiet right on his tongue as he was being led to the passenger side of the car.

“I had a hospital shift tonight, remember? I told you about it.” Now that Jim was feeling a little less like he would float off the face of the earth he did sort of remember Leonard saying something about a late shift.

“I’m surprised I didn’t fall and break my face walking out of that club,” Jim mumbled when his hot head met the cool window as Leonard drove back to their apartment.

“Don’t worry kid,” Leonard smacked him on the knee. “I’ll always be around to fix your bones when you fall and break your face.”

“Heh,” Jim laughed still giddy. “Fix my bones, how romantic.”

After that it was late nights spent doing homework and even later night staying up drinking away all the pains of papers, real life, and work. Then it was clubs and dancing, touching places not felt before and leaning in close to whisper into ears with lips brushing flesh. They’d spent months both dropping small hits to each other with smiles reserved just for the other and knowing stares from their friends until finally Jim just couldn’t take it anymore. He broke down and asked the older man on a date.

The first time he asked, Leonard said no.

He said he was too busy and besides, he didn’t want to fuck up whatever strange thing they had between them. Jim said it was fine but then he’d asked again. Just a casual suggestion of dinner and a movie that was met with an eye roll. But then Jim had kept asking and asking until finally Leonard had relented under the condition that he choose the restaurant and he pick up the bill – both of which Jim did not argue against.

“Well,” Leonard sipped at his beer bottle nursing it in his hands. His eyes were deep brown in the dim lights of the restaurant. “You were very persistent.”

Jim snickered crossing his arms sinking softly into his chair. “You wouldn’t say yes and once I set my mind to something I don’t usually give up, Bones.”

“So I’ve learned,” was said over the rim of the bottle. Then they stared at each other in comfortable silence that only came with months of living on top of each other and knowing the secrets the other never told.

“Have you talked to JoJo lately?” Jim questioned when their main dishes had been served. Leonard brightened at the mention of his daughter. He dove into an anecdote of less scowls and more smiles as his eyes danced while he spoke. Jim laughed hearing tales of his baby girl.

“And how is that class going with Professor Hobgoblin?”

Jim chuckled setting down his beer. “Bones come on, he’s not that bad. Other than the fact I’m pretty sure he has a Jim Kirk voodoo doll that he spears every night I’m, like, one of his best students!”

“Still don’t know how you can take that class.”

“Advanced Mathematical Engineering isn’t all bad,” Jim thought for a second. “No, it actually is all that bad.”

Together they laughed and Jim could feel himself practically glowing with excitement. He didn’t usually go on dates, he didn’t usually do anything serious but it felt like all this was different. Leonard was different. Opening his mouth to say something else he stopped when he heard a ruckus from off to the side. Turning his head the same time as someone called out Leonard’s name, Jim should have known it wouldn’t be good. But he swallowed his suspicions and looked up at the handful of people that suddenly crowded their little table.

“Len!”

“McCoy you son of a bitch what are you doin’ here?”

Counting, Jim saw four men and three woman all dressed to the nines in sleek clothing with slicked back hair on the men and curly locks on the woman. Red lipstick, tight skirts and cleanly pressed slacks adorned the group of people. Looking at them made Jim conscious of his jeans and shirt though it was the nicest things he owned. Leonard’s face brightened in surprise at the people.

“What in the Sam Hill are you guys doin’ here?” His accent thickened as he started embracing the women and shaking the hands of the men.

“Aw Lenny,” the tallest man started. “We always come here on the first Saturday of the month.”

“It’s a way to keep in contact with the old gang,” a woman in a little black skirt laughed.

“I didn’t know you were in town,” another man started. “How long have you been here?”

“About a year, I’m studying up at Ole Miss.” Leonard turned his body to face the people. Jim licked his lips staying quiet. “I’m in the medical program.”

“Medical?” The woman closest to Jim scoffed. “Daddy always wanted me to become a doctor but too many sick people.” They all laughed as if it were some joke, even Leonard chuckled shaking his head. “Well Missy, that’s usually what doctors have to deal with.”

“I just don’t have the stomach for it Lenny,” Missy waved her hand and again they chuckled at something Jim didn’t understand.

“Oh!” Leonard suddenly jumped whipping his head around to face Jim giving the younger man an apologetic smile. He lifted a hand to gesture to Jim. “This is Jim, Jim these are my old friends from Georgia.”

Jim didn’t know why he felt the tiniest bit of hurt when Leonard just introduced him as  _Jim_  and not  _my best friend_  or even  _my date_  but again he stayed quiet letting the older man chatter with his friends. None of them really acknowledged him even at Leonard’s introduction. It was as if it didn’t exist.

“Hey, Lenny why don’t you come join us? We’ve got a table.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure of course. You don’t mind do you, Jim?”

How could Jim say no to those pleading eyes? He smiled, completely fake and said, “No, of course not.”

Patting Leonard on the back one of the men picked up his plate and they were off trailing behind him as they led Leonard to their table leaving Jim behind to catch up. Jim looked down at his food then over to the retreating backs of the people who’d just stolen his date. With a sigh he grabbed the waitress’s attention to tell her they were moving to another table then started off after them taking his jacket as he went. He left his plate of barley eaten food and nearly full beer behind, he wasn’t hungry anymore. Jim just managed to scoot into the last chair next to the woman named Missy soundlessly. No one acknowledged him.

“So what are y'all doin’ here anyways?”

“We’ve all got jobs working for Bricker and Co.” A deep voiced man answered, his back straightening proudly.

“Wow, that’s great!” Leonard looked taken aback and Jim could understand why. Bricker and Co. was one of the best law offices in Mississippi. Anyone who was anyone in law wanted to either work for them or be defended by them. They specialized in big company scandals and Jim heard each worker made more then he’ll probably ever make as an Aerospace engineer. Leonard looked up noticing Jim seemingly for the first time. “Well you know, Jim here got an apprenticeship as NASA for the summer-”

“So where’s Jocelyn run off to?” A woman with too red lipstick asked cutting him off. Leonard floundered but answered her back politely that they weren’t together anymore which led to more jokes and Leonard getting hit on the arm.

Jim sat there until the drinks were ordered feeling completely out of place and uncomfortable. Not one of them had even spared him a glance let alone spoken to him and the two times Leonard tried to bring him into the conversation he’s been interrupted by another question, another joke, another  _Oh, Lenny_. Jim squirmed in his seat. This was supposed to be their date and now he couldn’t even get a word in. He felt uncomfortable in ways he hadn’t felt in a long time. His clothes were dirty compared to the high end price tags that were once attached to Leonard’s friends clothing. He felt scraggly and inadequate sitting with his hands bunched under the table.

“Well… I, uh,” he stuttered standing up from his chair and grabbing for his leather jacket that had been carelessly thrown over the back. His throat thickened and eyes blurred as Leonard didn’t even notice let alone look up to see him go, too engrossed in his conversation. Jim excused himself though he doubted anyone heard him. Then, he left paying the bill for him and Leonard at the front desk. He was bid a good evening by the main hostess.

The walk back to his and Leonard’s apartment was a long one alone. Jim hadn’t planned for this. He’d planned on a late evening of good food and easy conversations finished with a slow walk home with hands possible intertwined and then the night would end in some variation of tangled limbs and lips pressed together.

But, that wouldn’t happen now. Leonard was busy, Jim reasoned with himself. He hadn’t seen those people in a long time so it was logical – to use Professor Spock’s favorite word – that he would want to spend some time with them. Jim kicked at a rock on the ground thinking of their nice clothes and jewelry. A thought shifted through his mind that Leonard had told him once, long ago, that he grew up in a large house on what used to be a plantation. So of course Leonard had money and was friends with people in the same social class.

Jim didn’t have much. He was in college on a full scholarship that covered academics and his room and not much else. He moved in with the clothes on his back, a duffle bag and a motorcycle to his name. He couldn’t give Leonard anything lavish even if he tried and Leonard deserved that. He was a wonderful man who deserved wonderful things.

Crossing the street a few blocks from his apartment, Jim shoved his hands into his pockets to stop them from shaking. His eyes blurred with angry tears that he fought not to shed. He could do that later in the confines of his own home under the blankets of his own bed.

“Jim!” Someone yelled, out of breath and far away. Footsteps hit the pavement as someone ran towards him. “Jim, wait!”

But Jim didn’t stop. He was almost home and as soon as he reached his apartment he was going to dive into bed, hoist the covers over his head and have a nice long cry to himself.

“Hey.”

A hand was suddenly on his shoulder pulling him around to face the person with a jerk. Leonard stood in front of him, jacket in his free hand and hair a mess. He was breathing hard as if he’d just ran all the way from the restaurant and, by the way his shirt was untucked, it was a real possibility.

“What happened? I looked up and you were gone.” Jim looked up at the slightly taller man for only a second before turning back around, the hand on his shoulder falling off.

“Go back to your friends,  _Lenny_.” He muttered lowly, spitefully.

“What?” Leonard ran in front of Jim stopping him in his tracks. Jim glared down at his shoes not meeting his eyes. “What crawled up your ass?”

“Nothing,” Jim tried to go around the older man but as he side-stepped so did Leonard. “Are we five now?”

“Jim, what’s the matter? We were having a really nice time and then you just up and left.”

“You seemed busy,” Jim shrugged. Leonard deflated some.

“I’m sorry if I ignored you, I was just excited to see them.”

“I understand.” And Jim did. Really, he did. Clearing his throat and looking up at the building they were in front of, Jim swallowed thickly. “I, uh, I don’t think this is going to work out. Between the two of us, I mean.”

Leonard froze, eyes going wide. “W-what?”

“This isn’t going to work, Leonard. We’re just… We’re not right for each other.” With that he pushed through a still shocked Leonard to continue his walk home. He got three steps before he felt a tug on his sleeve and he was quickly turned around colliding against Leonard who held on to him tightly.

“Don’t say that.” Leonard’s eyes gleamed in a way that Jim had never seen. “Don’t say that we’re not right for each other.”

Jim shook his head, a lump formed in his throat. “We’re two different people. When you go home you get your big house and your family’s estate and when I go home I have…”  _An abusive stepfather and a mother who could never love me because I look too much like the man she used to love, the man who died,_ “I don’t have anything. I can’t give you what you deserve…”

Leonard stared for only a second before he surged forward capturing Jim’s mouth in a closed mouth kiss. Jim was frozen for a second before melting into the kiss opening his lips for Leonard’s prodding tongue. Their mouths fit perfectly together mirroring each other and filling the empty spaces. When Leonard finally pulled away Jim’s lips were kiss swollen and cheeks flushed red.

“I don’t need anything, Jimmy. Just you.” Leonard touched Jim’s cheeks with a light, soft hand. “And those guys? Please. They’re my past. You Jim, you’re my future. Don’t you understand that?”

“Yeah, I… I think I understand that now.”

“Good.” Leonard didn’t let go of Jim for a moment. When he did finally loosen his grip it was only to step back and take Jim’s hand tightly in his own. “Now let’s go home, our date’s not over just yet.”


End file.
